Six Sentence Sunday – 7/22/12

My Sunday Six for today are from my first Dirty Bits short story, Spectators. Warning: These few sentences live up to the Dirty Bits name!

“What  if I don’t want you?”

Hot,moist breath stirred her hair and tickled her ear. “Ah, but you do.”

“He’s a watcher, you know,” he said softly. “Would you like that? Would you like him
to watch me fuck you?”

Six Sentence Sunday – 7/15/12

Since this is my first Six Sentence Sunday, I thought it would be appropriate to post a few lines from my first novella, Seducing Steve.

“Steve, how  long have we been friends?”

“I don’t know… Eight, nine years?”

“And how many times have we come close to
kissing?”

A well-worn montage of near-kisses flashed in his mind’s eye. “We don’t kiss.”

“We don’t kiss because we both know once we start, we won’t want to stop.”

 

Monday Mayhem – Supplies

Today is the first day of school for most of the kids in my area. It’s also the first first-day we don’t have one heading off to school. Aside from the weird feeling that we’re forgetting something, this non-first-day is hitting us where it hurts – in the supply drawer.

No one ever thinks about the toll this milestone takes on a parent. For the first time in our married lives, my husband and I may not have a glue stick on hand. There’s not on single sheet of lined notebook paper to be had, or a spare spiral laying around. All we have are a few torn-open packages of pens. You know, the cheap ones that even the kids refused to use.

I went to see Duran Duran in concert this past weekend (awesome!). Copule that experience with the fact that nearly every store aisle is lined with Trapper Keepers and the nostalgia is nearly overwhelming. I remember the hours I spent drawing the D/fallingD emblem on every notebook, folder, and bookcover I had. I’m pretty sure I signed some of that artwork as ‘Mrs. Nigel John Taylor’ too.

I love supplies. I was the parent with the list and the cart and the hungry gleam in her eye. And yes, I stooped low enough to use school supply shopping as a beard for my Post-It note jones. Okay, I confess. The kids never had them on their lists, but they came in such pretty colors….

*deep breath*

Now I have no Post-Its either, and I’m afraid I can’t go on like this. I’m going to have to head for the nearest Office Depot.

Is it just me? Does anyone else yearn for pencil cap erasers? Is there anything better than a dual-prong folder that has yet to be doodled upon? Do you still get a little misty-eyed when you think back to your first ziplock-closure pencil bag? It’s okay. You can tell me. It’s not like I have anything to write it on, and even if I did, these stupid cheap pens never work….

Monday Mayhem – Dollar Short Edition

I’m late… Gee, I hope I’m not pregnant….

Kidding! Seriously, honey, it was a joke. Drop the defibrilator.

I was feeling a tad under the weather yesterday. By ‘a tad’ I mean I felt like poopy. Still kind of do, but better than yesterday, so onward I trudge!

Spent the weekend in a hot house. Our ancient a/c unit died and now Fodder and I are selling organs and limbs on the black market to figure out how to pay for a new system. Seems like these things pile up, don’t they? We knew this day would come, but since there’s never a good time to tackle these projects, we put them off and put them off.

‘Add it to the list’ is a well-worn phrase in our household. How about yours?

I thought I’d share some of the things that have been on our list for the past…oh, ten years, give or take. Then you can share some of yours and maybe I’ll feel a little better knowing we’re not alone. If you don’t have a list, do me a favor and make one up. Okay? Thanks.

1) Replace heat and air system.

2) Scrap non-insulated, non-weather-resistant windows with some without condensation trapped within the panes.

3) Tear out hideous master bath with pink ceramic tile and gold carpet flooring.

4) Swap out faux-butcher-block countertops for something that doesn’t scream 1988.

5) Rip ancient, stained gold-toned carpet throughout the house.

Yeah, so… One down….

On a happier note, be sure to visit my GoodReads page starting tomorrow (8/15/12) to register to win a print copy of Inamorata!

 

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Inamorata by Margaret Ethridge

Inamorata

by Margaret Ethridge

Giveaway ends September 15, 2012.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

 

Monday Mayhem – Bunny Cage Edition

Been crazy busy lately. That’s no excuse for neglecting you, but it’s the only reason I have. I would have asked my mom to write me a note, but then she would want to be privy to the secrets I plan to expose. I guess I’ll just have to forge one. Not that I ever did that… Or mastered her signature….

Ahem. Sorry. Here we go…

Please excuse Margaret’s absence from her blog she has been:

1) Taking up three spaces on the TMP Bestseller list for 8/5/12! Okay, so you may only see two titles with my name on them.

*cough* Don’t tell my mother. *cough*

You’ll have to use your super-detective skills to figure out the third one. For those of you who know my naughty alter-ego…shh!

2) Her inner vixen has busted loose and taken over the works! Almost all of the stories I’ve written so far will be published under that other name, but there are a few Margaret works in the pipeline. I have two of six new Jack and Ellie stories completed for 2013’s Long Distance Love collection written, and the plot bunnies for Containment—the third piece in the Contentment/Commitment trilogy—are running rampant in my head. NaNoWriMo is coming up in a couple of months, so I’m trying to get other things out of the way so I can focus my thirty days and nights of literary abandon on Containment.

3) But with her Evil Twin in control, some big things have been happening. Wow things. Check it out!
› Her story, Portrait of Passion, was chosen to be a part of TMPs Passionate Exhibitions anthology coming in October 2012!
› She has a new series of steaming hot novellas coming soon. Very soon! Turquoise Morning Press will begin releasing the Hot Nights in St. Blaise series in late 2012-2013. These sexy stories all center on the men and women of St. Blaise, Missouri, a blip-on-the-map town where the release of the hospital’s new fundraising calendar sets the nights aflame.
› There may be a sexy fireman short story under submission for a Cleis Press anthology.
› And last, but certainly a big squee, a contract is coming from another publisher for SIX short stories to be included in the Love Letters Anthologies! This is a project she has been working on with fellow erotic romance authors Ginny Glass, Emily Cale, and Christina Thacher.
Whew. Have you figured out who she is yet? Want a hint? Her name may or may not be pretty derivative of my own. Take a look at the TMP Top 15 again. I’ll wait here.

4) Okay, enough about me… or her… us. Whatever. Let’s talk about other things. Did you see that my friend, Evelyn Jules’ first short story released? Blind Faith is now available all over the place. If you want a quick shot of smuff (fluffy smut, for those who aren’t in the know) do not miss this sexy read!

5) Oh! And I’m going to be a grandma. Yes, you are right. I am too young and hot to be a grandma, but what are you going to do? These kids… Squeeeeee!

Okay, that’s all the news that’s fit to line the bunny cage. How about you? Any big things, wow things going on in your life? Little things that just make you smile are just as good. It’s your turn to share!

Monday Mayhem – Watch out world edition

Psst. My buddy, Jennifer Johnson, is here today, and I believe she’s been spending too much time staring into her belly button. Be nice. Nod, smile, back away from the crazy lady, and be sure to leave a comment so she won’t come after you.

****

Words.

I have a love hate relationship with words. Words are a lot like the tasty morsel in the Kong toy. Me? I’m the dog who spends fourteen hours trying to manipulate that morsel out of the tortuous plastic device. People who know me well, and even not so well, except for my transparent intolerance for sloppy word use on Facebook realize nothing sets me off more than the taunt with an overused or misused word or phrase.

Some of these may include but are certainly not limited to: literally, uber, nemesis, opaque, or random.

So, I guess word misuse is my torment. My pleasure is the rich hues found in the definition of a word. I like to Google words my eighth grade teacher taught me to see what images I find. This is probably my best friend’s fault because she had this running joke about someone’s picture being in the dictionary next to [place your favorite insulting adjective here]. It only took me a couple of times looking up ‘gullible’ or ‘idiotic’ before I figured out what she was doing.

But I digress.

I’m amazed at the variety the Internet ascribes to any particular word. Take for instance,

Kerfluffle. It’s such a happy word. Somewhat whimsical in its triple *f* composition, and the hint of one definition by its first syllable which is then turned on its ear by the last two syllables. Can anyone be depressed when pronouncing it? Can anyone’s paradigm not be shifted by the orderliness of its disorderly definition?

And yet what a plethora of pictures appear with the search engine.

Such as:

or

Or

That guy made a great Ming, did he not? I wasn’t too enamored with Flash, but this guy rocked in a creepy evil villain sort of way.

And he’s who Google says looks like *kerfluffle*. Ming and pie and some chicks in a bedroom Man, you gotta love the Internet in its ability to search and assign meaning to anything because somebody blogged about it and found a pretty or provocative picture.

And there were many other pictures as well. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Beans. Badger. Paddle, and of course the requisite cute cat picture with the misspelled words. I mean, honestly, haven’t we beaten the dead horse enough with this cheezburger cat nonsense? What is wrong with people?

What does it mean anyway? And that whole texting the dog thing. It’s funny and all, but dogs have paws. They couldn’t possibly manipulate a phone to send texts.

My dog has no sense of anything except his enjoyment in eating, peeing, and sniffing. That’s his life. My kids try to make him look at pictures in books, watch TV, and even listen to me over the telephone when I was gone recently on a business trip. The dog doesn’t enjoy any of these things. He runs away from the children when they walk in the room. Though he’s a pretty good dog as far as dogs go, he has bitten them on more than one occasion because he’s tired of all the crap they put him through. In fact, tonight each kid had part of the dog in their hands pulling him like he was a slinky as they argued over whose bed he was going to sleep in.

It was, I believe, quite a kerfluffle.

****

Jennifer Johnson needs more time to navel gaze. She writes contemporary romance and has written five full length novels with three publishers. She has also had short stories published in four anthologies from Turquoise Morning Press. Her book, Rescuing Riley, the sequel to Rescue Me, will be released in October of this year from Turquoise Morning.

Find out more about her at

Website: http://booksbyjenniferjohnson.com

Blog: http://jennfrancesca.blogspot.com/

Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002BMJ58I

 

Monday Mayhem – Tombstone Edition

Fodder and I have some interesting conversations while riding in the car. Just last week I promised him I’d try to work the word ‘cocksmith’ into his eulogy. That led to a discussion on what we would have engraved on a tombstone. Here’s what I settled on for the love of my life:

Here lies Mr. Mags – beloved husband, father, and one damn fine piece of ass.

He was pleased.

What do you want on your tombstone? Tickle my funny bone and you might just win a little prize. Ready? Go!

Monday Mayhem – Duranies Rock On!

I’m on vacation this week (which means I am busy typing and editing), so I asked my good friend and fellow Duran Duran junkie, Karen Booth, to stop by and talk to you about her smokin’ hot new release. Check it out here:

****

If it wasn’t for the pesky brunette vs. blonde thing, I might make a guess that Margaret and I were separated at birth. We are both Midwest girls, both writers, lured to the South by our husbands. Margaret and I also share an adolescent love that never managed to go away, a vaguely unhealthy preoccupation with Duran Duran.

When I first befriended Margaret and found out she is also a Duranie, my only thought was this: “She’s so awesome. We could be such good friends. As long as she’s a Simon girl. If she’s a JT girl, this might not go well.” Ah, silly me. Of course Margaret had to be a JT girl (John Taylor for those not up to speed on Duran Duran vernacular). Dammit.

Alas, Margaret and I have learned to set aside our friendly JT rivalry. Neither of us will bad-mouth the other in his presence. We would never send him disparaging tweets. If we happen to show him a slightly unflattering picture of the other person, that’s purely by accident. Besides, he’s a rock star, he’s bigger than life. Surely there’s plenty of him for Margaret and I to share.

My brand new (smoking hot, if I do say so myself) book, Love My Way, comes complete with a hunky-on-the-outside and sweet-and-geeky on-the-inside rock star named Peter. He’s dead-set on snagging my heroine, Katie, but she isn’t ready to risk her heart for a rock star and she definitely isn’t willing to share. So, I want to know which rock star you want all to yourself, the one you aren’t willing to share. One responder will win an e-copy of Love My Way!

Love My Way

After her fiancé penned a “Dear Katie” letter, Kate Stillman vowed she’d never give a man more than one night. Free from emotional entanglements, she’s had some hot one-night stands, her heart has stayed off-limits and her photography career has skyrocketed. It’s the perfect plan until a Miami getaway brings her face-to-face with Peter Barrett.

Hunky rocker Peter has been pursuing Katie from afar ever since she photographed his band. In the flesh, it’s clear it was more than flirtation. Katie gives in to their sizzling chemistry, thinking Peter will appreciate her one-night rule. Instead, he balks and extends an invitation for a second night of pure abandon, an offer too tempting to refuse.

When they part, Katie realizes her rule protected her heart only too well. Time away from Peter leaves her wanting him more. Every steamy late-night phone call makes her wonder if she can love again. But when Peter returns and her trust is tested, Katie must overcome her past to learn that love her way was never the way at all.

Buy now at: Ellora’s Cave, Amazon, All Romance e-Books

Monday Mayhem – Fresh meat!

I’m traveling quite a bit over the next few weeks, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to introduce you to a few of my author buddies. I’m kicking this little foray into the unknown with a complete unknown. I’m crazy like that.

Meet my very funny friend, Evelyn Jules. Her debut story, Blind Faith, will be released by Turquoise Morning Press later this summer. I had the opportunity to read this sizzling little story, and trust me, you’re going to want to read it too! Without further ado…Ms. Evelyn Jules!

*****

Hi everyone! I’m taking over Margaret’s blog today. *maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh* If only you knew how long I’ve wanted to do this. But now I have special permission seeing as how I’m an official author and everything. Yep, it’s true! I signed my first contract with Turquoise Morning Press in April! It just magically floated into my inbox one day. Okay, that’s not exactly how it happened. You want the real story? Here goes….

It all started about a decade ago…Oh. You want the Cliffs Notes version? Hmmm. So a year ago I went to the Lori Foster Reader/Writer Get-together in Cincinnati, Ohio. I attended as a ‘reader’ but I was also there to support my incredible author friend, Margaret Ethridge. I follow her wherever she goes. True story. During the get-together there was a raffle with fabulous prizes. One of those prizes was a professional critique of 10 pages of manuscript from Kim Jacobs at Turquoise Morning Press. Guess what? I love watermelon gum. Oh, and I totally won the critique! 😀

As soon as I got home I started writing like a fiend. It took me close to two months before I had something I thought was presentable. This was my big chance. I didn’t want to waste it. They always say the waiting is the hardest part. Hardest. *giggles* Yeah, I write smut. I might as well come out and say that right now. Anyway, it was another two months before I heard anything. Kim gave me tremendous feedback, offered several suggestions on improvements, and in the final line of the email she told me that if I was willing to make the revisions, she was very willing to look at it again and offer me a…contract. *gasp* The ‘C’ word! What every author and aspiring author dreams of!

So I went back to my writing cave, added another four thousand words to my story, polished it, hugged it, kissed it, and forced Margaret to edit it more times than I can count, then I held my breath and resubmitted it. Fast-forward to April 1st (also known as April Fools’ Day). I got an email from Kim. She said my story made her laugh and cry. She loved it. More importantly…she wanted it! Happy, spastic dancing ensued. But it all came to a crashing halt when I recalled what day it was. Wait a minute. This wasn’t a joke, was it? I wasn’t entirely convinced either way until I received that ‘C’ word. My very own contract! Happy, spastic dancing ensued once more, this time accompanied by fits of sobbing. Margaret can tell you all about that. She was the recipient of a very watery phone call.

And I suck at Cliffs Notes. But I would like to share one last important detail with you. My first story, an erotic romance entitled Blind Faith, will be released this summer. Here’s the blurb:

Faith Lawson is just your average, wholesome librarian with a dirty mind . . . until a chance encounter with a handsome stranger brings her fantasies to life in a frantic night of passion. But when he walks out her door, he leaves a piece of his past behind that changes everything.

Sounds good, right? Just smile and nod. Oh, and please come visit me on my blog, twitter, and facebook for updates, news about future releases, fun games, contests, and general dirtiness! Thanks so much to Margaret for having me here! Don’t tell her I told you this (because she gets all weirded out when I get schmoopy) but she’s totally my favourite author.

So to leave you all with a question, what will you be reading this summer (besides Blind Faith)?

*****

Thanks, Evelyn! I’m going to bypass the schmoop and post a few links. Be sure to like/follow/bookmark these babies so you’ll know when Blind Faith becomes available!

Facebook

Twitter

Blog

Monday Mayhem – Jet plane edition

I’m off to Dallas on business today. Just a quick trip there and back in one day. I’ll be traveling more for my day job in the coming months, so I’m trying to adjust to the idea. People may not know this about me, but I’m actually a bit of a hermit. I like being home. I love my bed. I spend hours of quality time in my chair each night. I’m also a little fond of that guy who lives here with me.

It’s not that I hate travel. I used to love it. I still would if airline travel wasn’t such a ginormous pain anymore. I’m just too restless to deal with the hurry-up-and-wait aspect of it all. That, and I find that as security measures tighten, people tend to play fast and loose with the old manners.

My problem is, I’m not one who enjoys the journey. As I’ve mentioned before, I am terribly goal oriented. I want to be where I’m going and then when I’m done there, I want to be home right away. Oh, and I don’t have a whole lot of patience with flight times over 3 hours, either. Being a mid-westerner, that means I’m screwed if I want to go beyond U.S. borders.

I know that short of developing Genie skills or the sudden availability of transporters, I am going to have to learn to suck it up and learn to kill some time. It isn’t that I don’t have toys to play with. Tomorrow, I will be hauling a laptop, a Kindle Fire, and an iPod Touch with me. And I will still be tapping my foot and checking the clock.

How about you? Do you like to fly the barely civil skies? How far would you stray? What’s your favorite part of being away? The best bit about coming home?