I’m almost 50, and I’m still figuring it all out. Where did we ever get the idea that people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond should have their lives completely under control?
Did you read the the headline? We don’t.
Who started this rumor? Whoever it was, has obviously never spent any time wrestling mid-life into submission, that’s for sure.
The only thing I’ve figured out about life, is that I will never have it all figured out. And, I’m not sure I want to. How boring would that be?
Here’s my take on it:
Life loves to throw curveballs, and no one is prepared for them – no matter how many candles they blew out on their last birthday cake.
I write a lot of romance featuring characters 40+, which is a little out of the main for commercial romance. Inevitably, someone (usually and acquiring editor, an online reviewer, or maybe a reader who is email inclined) will ask whether the heroine/heroine should have had a better grip on what they wanted, needed, or even their physical desires.
My answer is no. The fictional characters I create are supposed to be human, just like you and me.
We are supposed to be continually figuring it all out.
Our relationships blossom, fail, or float along until the next storm brews.
I’ve been over a decade into a job, only to discover the career ladder I thought I was climbing was actually a rope ladder, and someone was taking a blowtorch to the rungs below.
Our bodies will betray us. That’s an inevitability.
At times, our minds play nasty tricks on us.
People we love will disappoint us.
We will disappoint ourselves.
Love is a shape-shifter. Our ability to love and allow ourselves to be loved is constantly evolving.
Mistakes will be made.
Failure is not fatal.
This is all I have figured out so far. How about you? Any wisdom to add?