Monday Mayhem – The 4%

Been doing a lot of writerly soul searching lately. I haven’t discovered much other than the fact that my thoughts are about as shallow as a mud puddle in July. You see, a couple of years ago I made a plan for my writing career…. If you know anything at all about life, you know that it likes to scoff at plans. This time it was no different. Oh, I did all the things a person is supposed to do: targeted goals, set deadlines, mapped my expectations. I rolled through some major changes to my day job and navigated the shifting sands of the home life as best I could. In the end, I made 96% of those goals (actual percentage for the stats nerds like me) a reality.

Not bad, huh?

Yeah…That 4% is driving me crazy.

You see, that tiny percentage represents a major portion of what I thought I would accomplish. But try as I might, it’s not happening. I’ve been beating myself up over that 4% for the past 6 months. You see, that 4% represents Containment.

I’ve circled, poked, and prodded this novel, but I can’t make it take shape. The story is all in my head, but my usual panster ways weren’t working, so I turned to plotting device after plotting device in hopes of finding the key to unlock the story. I’ve tried The Hero(in)es Journey method. I tried to Snowflake and Beat Sheet the darn thing but let’s face it, my stories aren’t that hip. I’ve even attempted to go all Dom/sub on it, but it just laughed when I pulled out the flogger. I’ve even written a synopsis for it. If you know me at all, you know I despise writing synopses. But I did this one voluntarily. Desperation does funny things to people.

A few people have asked when it can be expected. The answer is simply, I don’t know. All I know is that for the sake of my sanity, I’m going to have to set it aside for a while. I’ve hardly written anything this year, and I’m afraid that if I don’t find a horse that’ll run, I’ll forget how to ride.

Those who know me personally know it kills me to say this. I hate not being able to follow through. There’s nothing worse than feeling like I’ve let people down. But I’m not abandoning it. I still intend to write Shel and Josh’s story. I just can’t seem to do it right now.

Bear with me, okay?

So, how about a little good news?

Long Distance Love is done and coming soon! The week of August 26th soon. Yay! I just did the final galley read-through and I have to say, I still love Jack and Ellie. I hope you will too!

That’s all I have for now. I’ll be back next week. Oh! And keep your fingers crossed for Commitment – the GDRWA Booksellers Best Award recipients will be announced later this week. 🙂

5 Replies to “Monday Mayhem – The 4%”

  1. Wow. So she is human after all. 😉 Mags, I know how hard it is for you, of all people, to walk away from an unfinished product, but I think in this case it’s the best thing you can do. You’ll get your mojo back, you’ll find inspiration in other places, and eventually, when you least expect it, Containment will just burst right out of you. But until then, I’m gonna be here in my usual cheerleader pose. You are AWESOME. Just know that. *hugs*

    P.S. Can’t wait for Long Distance Love, and BEST OF LUCK with Commitment! My fingers, toes, and everything in between are crossed!

  2. I know it’s very hard for you to set aside. It will come to you when it’s ready to emerge, and when it does, it will flow. And it will be as awesome as the first two!

    Commitment is totally going to win!

  3. I’ve recently been having discussions with a pal about feeling like you ‘have’ to write something as opposed to ‘wanting’ to write. We’ve made a vow to try and get rid of the ‘shoulds’ and concentrate on the ‘wants.’ I think one of the many things that has always elevated your stories is your joy of writing. It just flowed out from you and onto the page and then into your characters. I guess what I’m trying to say is that when the joy starts flowing again, we’ll still be here, ready to read every word. Take your time. We want you to enjoy writing it as much as we enjoy reading it! So please stop beating yourself up and bask in that 96%. When Shel’s story gets here (and it will!) it will read just a little bit sweeter for having to wait on it! You are awesome and don’t you ever forget it!

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